A sense of balance during the college application process is critical. Balanced expectations, balanced college list, balanced academics/activities/self-care, now it’s time to practice balanced responses to your admissions decisions.
This is the time when decisions begin to come out. If you decided to apply Early Decision to your first choice school, then you already know whether your waiting is over. Otherwise, admissions decisions may come to your inbox and/or college portal anytime between now and April 1st.
Perhaps you’ve received the wonderful news, you’ve been admitted! Fantastic! Congratulations! Take some time to enjoy the feeling of success and to celebrate with your family. Share your joy with your friends and even with your extended network by posting to your social media feeds. At the same time, keep in mind “balance” and remember that this decision could have easily gone the other way, especially if the college is very selective/rejective (admitting under 33% of applicants). Admission to a college doesn’t mean that you are better than those who were denied. It does mean that the admissions officers who read your file (holistically) were confident that you could be successful at their school and that you could be an integral part of their balanced class (there’s that word “balance” again).
Take a moment to consider those who weren’t accepted. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. A little bit of humility and a solid dose of gratitude go a long way in this situation. No crowing over “conquering” the admissions process or talking about “how lucky” the school is to have admitted you. Instead share your news with an acknowledgement that you are excited and thankful to be given the opportunity.
What if you’ve been denied? This can be really hard and no matter what your expectations were, not being chosen hurts. Go ahead and allow yourself time to grieve. It’s okay to feel those feelings. Then do what you need to do to begin feeling better. Talk to a friend or family member, cry, eat ice cream or binge TikTok pet videos or makeup tutorials, whatever works best for you.
Be careful not to play the blame game though. Don’t blame your recommenders, parents, or yourself and don’t play the “if only” game. “If only, I played lacrosse, if only I’d kept going to model UN, if only I had raised cheetahs in my spare time”. Remember that this may be a big disappointment but it is not personal. This doesn’t diminish the effort you’ve put into school, extracurriculars, friendships, family and more in any way. You are still the wonderful person you were yesterday. Balance your sadness with acknowledging all the good things about who you are. In the grand scheme of things being denied, although painful in the moment is a passing difficulty.
Of course, it’s possible you’ve been offered a spot on the waitlist. Being waitlisted can be even more difficult than being denied. If you decide to accept the place on the waitlist, a decision is unlikely to come your way until after May 1st. Some schools continue to pull from their waitlists until the fall and that’s a lot of waiting. Be sure to read all your emails from the college that has waitlisted you and follow their directions about how to accept the spot. One thing not to do is harangue the admissions office, no effusive love notes or gifts or pleading. If you have something new to share, feel free to write a friendly note with that information and to reiterate your interest, then leave it at that. If the college asks for more information from you, do be sure to follow up.
Celebrate your successes, don’t dwell on your failures and enjoy the rest of your senior year!